Ditch Doc

After a long day in the organic chemistry lab, I hopped off the Edmonton city bus and began the walk back to the hostel with only one thing on my mind: food. I’d barely eaten since breakfast, I was slated to head back to the old culinary desert of Fort Nelson in about 30 hours, and I was going to enjoy a big city cultural treat, dammit. Out of the darkness loomed the K_____ tandoori joint, and my decision was made. I shuffled in, met the host’s inquisitive glance, and guiltily mumbled “Just for one, please.” I was seated at a table elaborately set for two, uncomfortably close to a cheerful double date of middle-managers, there to contemplate the sitar player across from the enormous decorative tandoor in the middle of the floor. Some time had passed when a plate of roti with two sauces appeared, and both water glasses were filled. I leafed through the menu several times over the next half hour, reluctantly assembling a meal woth more than I’d ever spent on myself in one sitting, but none of the waiters hurrying past betrayed any interest in my order. Feeling more and more annoyed and out of place, I shifted awkwardly in my seat, knocking my full water glass straight into my lap. This was the last straw: my hunger had been overcome by the desire to escape. But how? Suddenly it hit me: they were all waiting for my date to show up so we could order together! I began casting worried glances at my watch, then the door. Finally resigning myself to having been stood up, I heaved a sigh, frowned, put on my coat and hoisted my backpack. I munched one more roti, thanked the girl at the door as I sprinted past, and was suddenly back out in the clean cold darkness.

And here’s how you all should have spent this past week:

Keep an eye on Corpus Christi Watershed, who put together this video. They were taping all week, and I hope they’ll have more to offer soon.

Ditch: “Pardon me, but how much liver would I need as a side dish for three people?”
Butch: “That depends. Are they eating it voluntarily or under duress?”

The Catholic Thing’s obit on Fr. Neuhaus has caused me to add the site to my blogroll. That being about five new links this month, I figured I’d throw in a post pointing them out.

The other day, I saw an ad for a sleek looking bathroom faucet, the chief boast of which was its revolutionary water-saving design. How does it work? Well, (and listen carefully, it’s complicated), it appears that it runs at a mind-bending 1.7 gallons per minute, trouncing the industry standard 2.3. That’s right. It makes the water run slower. So while the rest of you neanderthals are doing the same thing by cranking your dinosaur taps a quarter turn less, I’ll be getting water from my boldly yet reservedly styled, almost sentient cosmosoteriofaucet, like the rest of the enlightened. If only there were more of us. Sigh.

Check out this new winery. Only a year old, and producing wines that my untrained palate finds just delightful. Especially consider the Pinot Noir and the late harvest Kerner. If you can figure out how to order it. I can’t.

Ezra Levant to the Alberta Human Rights Commission:

“Make my day.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5dwUqCGJeE&feature=related

It’s worth watching.

(For my non-Canuck friends, the HRCs are quasi-judicial bodies that have assigned themselves the role of offensiveness police. Yes, in Canada, we take niceness so seriously that you can be financially ruined for being mean.) 

You’ve just been diagnosed with a subtype of hypersensitivity pneumonitis. So what’s the good news? Well, chances are you have a disease with one of the strangest names ever concocted. The following is far from an exhaustive list of the possibilities. Going from the most mundane to the most exotic, you could have:

New Guinea Lung
Dry Rot Lung

Furrier’s Lung

Malt Worker’s Lung
Mushroom Worker’s Lung
Wood Pulp Worker’s Lung

Dog House Disease
Fishmeal Worker’s Lung
Hard Metal Disease
Wheat Weevil Lung
Pauli’s Reagent Lung
Vineyard Sprayer’s Lung

Rat Handler’s Lung

Washing Powder Lung

Sauna Taker’s Disease

Pituitary Snuff Taker’s Disease
Sewage Sludge Disease

Cheese Washer’s Lung
Paprika Splitter’s Lung
Maple Bark Stripper’s Disease

There. Don’t you feel better?

Check out the new link section, “The Touchables,” being an assortment of links to divers artisans of all things made painstakingly one by one in complete isolation from the net. More links as I find more stuff. Suggestions, anyone?

Hey everybody, sorry I haven’t been writing in ages. I have a ton of course work to do, and it must be done by the end of April. Also, the muse is a bit drowsy of late. Talk to you when she wakes up.