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Category Archives: Stories from the ditch
Humour at the Bottom
Then there was the aboriginal woman I picked up during paramedic preceptorship a few blocks from the notorious intersection of Hastings and Main in Vancouver. We found her lying in pain half on, half off her bed, surrounded by well … Continue reading →
Top Ten Incidental Reasons I’m Happy to be a Paramedic
Well I started this post a year ago and haven’t finished, but it’s becoming questionable what my relationship to ditches will be in the next few years, so here are the top nine: 10. Subsidized housing 9. Tons of spare time to study 8. Lime vest … Continue reading →
You know you’ve been a Northern medic if you’ve ever…
1. Fuelled up on the way to a call. 2. Stopped in the middle of a Code 3 run to wipe the mud off the headlights. 3. Burnt out the siren. 4. Packed food to eat on the way to … Continue reading →
Smoker
Midnight dispatches are of two sorts: there’s the drunk-taxi/minor assault sort and the nightmare critical sort. The other night belonged to the second category. Dispatch: “Hi 858, you’re going five minutes north on the highway, by the buffalo farm, for an … Continue reading →
OSB fire
So the plywood plant caught fire again last night. It’s kind of an accepted industry standard that an OSB mill will catch fire several times a year. This time it was the storeys-high pile of sawdust out back, which is permanently … Continue reading →
Forest Fire Crew Boss
On fighting fires in Australia: “No, I didn’t go. The guys who went were telling stories about crazy-ass spiders and crocodiles in pump sites and shit. I’ll take mosquitoes and black-bears any day.”
Fun and Games
Oh, and then the one about the guy who tried to bear-spray his friend, but was so drunk that he pointed it backwards and sprayed himself. He was hysterical with pain, and told us: “You guys have no f$!%in idea … Continue reading →
Instant Retribution
And then there was the one about the guy who was planning to shoot his wife, but was so drunk that he forgot to brace the shotgun against his shoulder, missed at point blank range, blew up the TV and broke his … Continue reading →
Sorry, buddy
I always knew that lying on a spine board for a two and a half hour drive to town would be uncomfortable, but I never thought I’d hear this one: “Please let me up! C’mon, man! I’d rather sit up … Continue reading →
Terror threat
My new unit chief told us this little gem: Once, he needed to switch ambulances mid-shift in Vancouver. He parked the old one behind St. Paul’s hospital, hid the keys, and went on his way. The next morning, the crew … Continue reading →