One of the members of our ambulance station is an accomplished dentist from Kamchatka who came to Canada on a whim, barely had his extensive education recognized to a grade 12 level, and struggled through his paramedic training with about half a grasp of the English language. His still beginning understanding of Canadian language and ways leads him to say some truly hilarious things, worthy of their own category. (All quotes are to be read in a think Russian accent.)
Tonight:
Dima: You should go up Old Alaska Highway. Whole cattle farm… all elimination.
Ditch: (Scratches head)
Dima: Christmas lights on everything. E-li-mi.. No?
Ditch: Oh! Illumination!
Dima: Aaaah!
While planning Thanksgiving dinner:
Michelle: I’ll take care of the turkey.
Dima: What is … turkey?
Matt: Uh, it’s a big bird…
Tina: It’s like chicken…
Dima: Is chicken?
Matt: No, it’s bigger than chicken.
Ditch: It’s a huge chicken.
Dima (suddenly understanding): Aaah! Hormonal chicken!
Later:
Dima: What is … cranberries?