Ditch Doc

You’ve just been diagnosed with a subtype of hypersensitivity pneumonitis. So what’s the good news? Well, chances are you have a disease with one of the strangest names ever concocted. The following is far from an exhaustive list of the possibilities. Going from the most mundane to the most exotic, you could have:

New Guinea Lung
Dry Rot Lung

Furrier’s Lung

Malt Worker’s Lung
Mushroom Worker’s Lung
Wood Pulp Worker’s Lung

Dog House Disease
Fishmeal Worker’s Lung
Hard Metal Disease
Wheat Weevil Lung
Pauli’s Reagent Lung
Vineyard Sprayer’s Lung

Rat Handler’s Lung

Washing Powder Lung

Sauna Taker’s Disease

Pituitary Snuff Taker’s Disease
Sewage Sludge Disease

Cheese Washer’s Lung
Paprika Splitter’s Lung
Maple Bark Stripper’s Disease

There. Don’t you feel better?

From the choir loft during Mass today, I noticed a young boy, about eight years old, leaving his pew and walking down the aisle. Four rows out, he realized he’d forgotten something and went back. He reached the end of his pew, put his hand on it, genuflected, and now satisfied, turned again and traipsed out to the vestibule without looking back.