Ditch Doc

There’s this idea that orthopaedic surgeons are basically neanderthals with an interest in shop activities. “Bone break, me fix” was how a medical oncologist prof of ours summed them up. Today we had a talk from a real live orthopod, and I can now reassure you that this stereotype is entirely false. Here are a few of the pearls of wisdom he imparted:

“People usually do pretty good after you fix them… they like it when you fix them.”

“Anesthetists don’t get to connect much with their patients, cause they’re not usually very awake.”

“…it’s fun to do stuff.”

“When you haven’t done it before, you don’t know how hard to hit things.”

I trust the myth has been dispelled.

Problem: “I can tie my tie in a double Windsor, but I can never seem to get that classy dimple in the middle.”

Solution: The secret of the double Windsor is a loose knot. If it lets the tail run freely and feels soft and squashable when you squeeze it front to back, the dimple ought to fall into place under your finger and stay put.

Here’s an interesting paradox: The idea that species can be changed by the pressure to reproduce in an unfriendly world is a moderate one, backed up by a fair bit of evidence. It’s also new. The unreasonable extrapolation of this idea leads some to conclude that chance is a sufficient explanation of all life. But THAT idea was already ancient before the Beagle had her keel laid. “We were born by mere chance,” say the ungodly men in the book of Wisdom, “…and reason is a spark kindled by the beating of our hearts.” In the last century before Christ, Lucretius explained in painstaking detail how everything from dirt to the human soul started with random swerving amongst an endless rain of primordial particles. Materialism doesn’t wait for scientific evidence, but goes right ahead and promises to explain everything very soon. We’d all be a bit less gullible if we kept in mind how old that promise is.