I didn’t follow the trial closely enough to have a very well formed opinion of Conrad’s guilt or innocence. I did follow it closely enough to get an idea what I thought of the standard news coverage of it, and whatever you may say about the verdict, you have to admit that there’s something deeply unsettling about a legion of reporters making fun of a former lord of their profession for having too big a vocabulary.
Now I’m all in favour of easily understood instructions that can be read by speakers of any language or none, but when I got stranded in Fort St. John, I tried to make coffee by following the pictures on the lid, and the results were unsatisfactory. Here’s what I thought the pictures said:
1. Open the coffee.
2. Place the pillow in the vegetable crisper and close it.
3. With the greens of a large carrot, stir the water. Then pour it down the storm drain.
4. Turn the switch to “ON.” Pour the coffee. Enjoy!
You know a vehicle is either very good or very bad when one of the selling points is “Street legal.”
There’s a man in Fort Nelson General, (let’s call him Zechariah), who is slowly recovering from a stroke. Aside from the wheelchair, he is a comely gentleman, bald, with glittering eyes and a well-trimmed peppery moustache. He understands what is being spoken to him, but can generally only reply with “Yeah.” He speaks his one word with an amazing versatility of facial expression, intonation and head movement, so you can usually get a good idea what he means. The other day, the Fillyjonk and I went to say goodbye at the hospital, where Zach had wheeled himself to the door for his daily sit in the shade.
Fillyjonk: “Good morning!”
Zach: [Smiling and vigorously nodding] “Yeah!”
Ditch: “How are you?”
Zach: [More quietly, but contentedly] “Yeah, yeah.”
Fillyjonk: “We came to say goodbye.”
Zach: [Frowning] “Yeah?”
Ditch: “Yeah, I’m moving to Ontario, and FJ’s going to Vancouver.”
Zach: “Holy shit!”
And he turned completely red and looked ready to cry. The two of us nearly burst into tears on the spot. God bless him, and send us more friends like him.
Well I started this post a year ago and haven’t finished, but it’s becoming questionable what my relationship to ditches will be in the next few years, so here are the top nine:
10. Subsidized housing9. Tons of spare time to study
8. Lime vest
7. Free coffee at FasGas
6. Driving with flashy lights and siren
5. Getting paid to take flights that would cost a photographer a fortune
4. George and Lucy think of me as Eugene, the medic from Band of Brothers.
3. Seeing all the newborn babies at the hospital
2. Children wave at me in the street.
1.
So there’s this idea that if you admit to being religious, you won’t get into med school. I don’t think I’m the only one who’s ever had this idea, but I have recently had the pleasure of having it entirely disproven. God not only came up, but was a major discussion point in my interviews with two of the three schools that offered me spots. One board even got me going for several minutes on the theology of St. Thomas Aquinas. Tell you what to avoid though: there was only one interview that covered abortion. And there was only one school that turned me down outright after the interview.