Oh, and then the one about the guy who tried to bear-spray his friend, but was so drunk that he pointed it backwards and sprayed himself. He was hysterical with pain, and told us:
“You guys have no f$!%in idea how much this hurts!”
Cop: “Yes I do.”
“F%!#in @$*!~! of a %&*^~! Can’t you $%#@ do anything?”
Ditch: “Do you have any Pepto Bismol you can wash your face with?”
Cop: “Or Pepsi?”