Bus tips

I’ve finally discovered how to keep the seat next to you on the bus unoccupied while maintaining a decent state of hygiene: when the bus comes to a stop, all you have to do is be sincerely and unfeignedly asleep on it. Nothing convinces like the truth, it turns out. “But I can’t sleep on buses!” Well, that’s because you don’t have enough luggage. If your backpack with your coat crunched up on top is shoulder high in the coveted next seat, and you sleep on it, nothing will wake you until Cosacks raid the bus and take your bag.

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One Response to Bus tips

  1. Claire says:

    lol! very true very true! Or if you fly on Southwest, where there’s open seating, as long as it’s not a full flight, if you leave your stuff on the seat next to you while everyone’s boarding and start frantically going through it, most people will walk by and not try to ask you if the seat’s taken. If you can keep that up for the whole boarding process, you’ve got yourself a loveseat, my friend.

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